This morning when I was praying, I asked God to grant me a revelation in His word today. And as I was doing my devotion, these very words caught me…

“I hate divorce,” says the Lord God of Israel.
“I hate it when one of you does such a cruel thing to his wife. Make sure that you do not break your promise to be faithful to your wife.” ~Malachi 2:16 GNT

In our day and age, and in most countries, divorce is legal and have been freely accepted by many. Though it still causes major damages on an individual’s life and their families, it carries on and sometimes taken very lightly. People watch it on news everyday, many know of someone who have gone through this ordeal, or they themselves were experiencing it.

To most Christians, divorce have become a gray area. Maybe because the culture today finds it necessary or appropriate in given situations. Some get married because they know that if it does not work out, they can just file for a divorce. Because of such, marriage no longer holds its sacred position that God has intended.

It’s refreshing for me personally to read directly from the Lord’s words about it… particularly in this passage.

Before getting married, my husband and I were encourage to undergo engagement seminars and counseling sessions to prepare us for  marriage. One of the important reminders given to us by our mentors and counselors was never, ever consider divorce nor separation, especially when married life is being tested. But believe me, in our young married life, we’ve been tested. And honestly, there came a point where we’ve questioned ourselves if we made the right decision to get married at all.

I understand that it’s hard to diminish the thought of divorce during these times when it’s strongly encouraged by the society today. But God’s word says it clear, and I believe if we heed His words well, then we’ll be able to obey what He has commanded us to do.

Divorce have become the resolution to most married problems when all else fails. But did we ever think that it may have been avoided in the first place? Let me clarify that I am not condemning anyone who may have been there or still going through the process. It’s awfully painful and damaging to anyone and I sincerely understand that. Just as God does not want to see any of us hurting, He shares the pain that divorce causes. Didn’t the psalmist say, “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit,” (Psalm 34:18) and “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds,” (Psalm 147:3)? That’s how compassionate the Lord is. So if you feel like you’re being condemned, stop. God is faithful and just to forgive us our sins when we are repentant of it. So I’m not writing this to judge anyone, but to give encouragement. This is also an enlightenment for me and it makes me be more compassionate as well to those who may have been going through tough times in their marriage.

Going back to the verse, these are some things God taught me:

1. The Lord hates anything that destroys what He have created or honored. Just as He abhors sin for destroying all humankind, He also hates divorce that destroys the sanctity of marriage. Out of all the relationships in the world, God puts the highest regard on marriage. Hence the strong emotion of the Lord when He said, “I hate divorce,” says the Lord God of Israel.

2. God detests when someone in the marriage is being hurt. Be it in not serving your spouse with joy or to the extreme point of being unfaithful to him/her, the Lord sees this as an abomination. He expects that we put value to those who He has made valuable to us.

3. Before doing anything that may affect your spouse or your marriage, “Make sure that you do not break your promise to be faithful to your wife [or husband].” (additional words mine) Remember what you said in those vows when you were married. Those were not declared for the sake of making the people swoon because of your sweet words to each other or to make it amusing for them. We made those promises because we know in our hearts that these are what we want to give to our spouses, because we love them. We say these words to them for it is for them that it holds true. I know we are not perfect and there would be moments that we may fall short in keeping those vows (like me preparing a fine dining experience for my husband every meal), but thank God that His grace is sufficient and His mercies are new every morning. The operative words being “make sure.” So just before you make that decision or you entertain those thoughts and emotions, make sure that it does not cause you to be unfaithful to your spouse.

We were advised to keep a print of each of our vows and have it framed and displayed on our bedroom wall to always remind us of the covenant we kept with each other and with God. I think we should all do that. Even better that our children would visibly see the vows we made for each other to show them the great worth of your marriage and to instill the value of marriage in them.

I know I still have a lot to learn about marriage. Besides, I’ve only been married for almost six months. But I praise God for His word is alive and relevant whatever phase I am in–especially now that I am a wife. I need all the help I can get from people who have been married for so long and weathered the storms as their counsel will guide us in making our marriage work.  I could also learn from those who have suffered the pain of broken marriage, for their pain will teach me to be more compassionate and understanding. It would also help me to be mindful not to cause my husband any pain or rejection. Yet entirely, I will be guided by the Word of God–leading me and instructing me in the way I should go…advising me every step of the way to be the wife that God calls me to be.

 

Many may have grown skeptical about successful marriages but not all have lost hope. I feel very blessed to be in a country that still upholds it as sacred. Just like this one story that was featured recently on TV, where many Filipinos helped this one woman to locate her missing husband. Truly a wonderful testimony of keeping her promise to her spouse that encouraged me and my husband. It struck me to the core when she said that if ever they will be separated again, it will be because of death. But this is what she asks of the Lord, “Pero hinihiling ko sa Diyos mauna sana siya sa akin kasi gusto ko pa rin siyang mapagsilbihan hanggang sa huling buhay niya.” (I ask God that He takes Him first so that I can serve him until his last days.)

Now there’s a tangible proof of one woman obeying God’s command of staying faithful to your spouse. May I live to be a wife like her. :)