Earlier today when I was on my working desk about to start my writing, I stared at the blinking cursor on my screen waiting for words to pour in but all I can think of was “There is something else I am meant to do.”

No, it wasn’t about unfinished house chores or anything of that sort. I know there is much more to my life than what I am actually doing today.

I always thought of myself as the idealist type. I have these perfect little images in my head about life in general and believe that they will actually happen. But then the realist side of me emerges and sees the world in its fallen state. Then I am left with an enormous feeling of uncertainty that I am not doing what I am supposed to do.

Before typing the first sentence that would begin my assigned article for the day, I utter a simple question to God…”What am I here for, Lord?”

Throughout my life, I’ve always known I am meant to do something great. I don’t know where that came from, but I most certainly don’t remember my parents ever telling me that. I have these grand thoughts of changing the world and actually be a catalyst of transformation wherever I go. I kid you not.

So growing up, I pursued things that would lead me and prepare me to accomplish just that: Got a degree which was supposed to help me create an impact internationally; joined activities that reaches out to the society; enrolled for Masters so I can be better at writing; worked in companies where I can be an influencer…but all these would seem distant from my thoughts of effectively changing the world.

Reflecting on my life now, truth is, I’m nowhere near what I actually expected to become. For some, this may be disappointing but actually I believe it is much grander than I ever thought.

Instead of becoming an ambassador…I settled to be a work-at-home mom.

Instead of being too involved in activities for the society…I focused on discipleship and building God’s kingdom.

Instead of continuing my Masters…I delayed so I can marry the man of my dreams.

Instead of aspiring to be an influencer in the corporate world…I became a molder of my son’s character.

My life today may be much simpler than the grandeur of my ideals, but the impact I create is pretty much the same…only with more certain and lasting results.

There are times I would still have those thoughts and my heart would long to do something to make this world a better place and accomplish greatness for the glory of God. I do not know if that will even transpire in my lifetime and how it will unfold, but somehow in the core of my being it burns continually. I suppose God himself placed this desire in me so I would constantly look to Him for direction and allow Him to lead me.

So tonight as I rest, I thank God for bringing me right where I am. I exactly know what I am here for.

The greatest  contribution to the kingdom of God may not be something you  do but someone you raise.

~Andy Stanley

 I am here to raise you, my child…and those who will come after you.